With Insomnia Comes Introspection

Originally published at VampAmber's Clutter. Please leave any comments there.

I’m starting to wonder if I even know what I want at this point. The school front is right, I know I want that, but everything else is jumbled. Do I want Ben? Or Lee? Or any guy or girl I know? Or do I just want companionship, someone to hug me, hold me, love me, be there with me? I want something that doesn’t exist, I want that right person for me. And instead of having the common sense to wait for them to stop by, I try to force other people into the mold. It never works, because it can’t. People fit in their own mold, not in someone else’s. Maybe this is all just because it’s 6am, and I tend to get drunk with sleep at this point. The sun coming up, it kinda signals when coherency goes out the window.

You know, I almost have to wonder if I’ve already met the right one in my past, but it just wasn’t the right time, you know? Because I’ve had a LOT of crushes. It’d be kind of funny, really, if some guy I knew ages ago came and swooped in, and everything felt right. Or does the right one just not exist?

Maybe it’s just because it’s 6am.

I just know my dreams will be weird now, involving me marrying Aaron the first, or hooking up with some guy I met in grade school or something. Maybe I’ll get lucky, and just dream of shagging Edward Norton. *evil grin* I think I could live with that.